Don’t Be Happy, Be Content

I haven’t posted here in over a week, and my anxiety level keeps rising. Content rules the web – how will I get hits if I never write anything new?!
I’m not sure why getting hits should feed into my self-esteem, but it must be important or else they wouldn’t give you that little Blog Stats counter. I’m pretty sure it measures your self-worth in some way, so imagine how good Charlie Sheen must be feeling right about now.

The other day I found myself thinking about going to a movie, and as I perused the films opening that weekend, I noticed one called Drive Angry 3D. The description of it read, “Milton, a hardened felon, has broken out of hell for one last chance at redemption. Intent on stopping a vicious cult who murdered his daughter, he has three days to stop them before they sacrifice her baby beneath a full moon.” And of course it starred Nicolas Cage, because who else can play a hardened felon who has broken out of hell for one last chance at redemption? His hair looks like he does that on just a regular day.

I’m sorry to tell you that my first thought on reading about this movie was, “Wow! I’ll bet that will make me really sick! It will be great material for the blog!” And then I was ashamed (but not before I checked the times to see if I went to The Adjustment Bureau, there might be one that I could sneak into right afterward).

People may think they need a constant feed of news 24/7, but this not CNN and I am not Anderson Cooper (who still looks fabulous even after that unfortunate incident in Egypt). So my vow to you, dear hit..um, reader, is this: I will not attend films hoping that they will make me sick just so I will have something to write about. The process should be more organic than that. I think it’s so much more effective when you settle in to watch a highly anticipated, well-reviewed film and then are totally blindsided when you turn into Linda Blair from The Exorcist.

But because that may not happen on a timely basis and the beast must be fed (that damn counter has been stuck on 957 for two days!), I may resort to throwing in 500 or so words that have absolutely nothing to do with flicks that make me sick. I also fear that I am rapidly running out of metaphors for vomit, and I think a little break now and then to clear the palette will be refreshing. All I ask from you is that you keep click, click, clicking! (and love me! It means you love me!)

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3 Comments

  1. I have some totally random shit to contribute! But, it does have something to do with motion sickness!! I begin my journey with the Kindle on the train this morning. Checking out “the Three Weissmans of Westport”. Normally, I can read on the train with no problem….but something about the motion of the train and the flicker of the screen when you turn the page …oooohhhh! Fortunately, as I was getting lightheaded and nauseous, we stopped at Chicago Avenue. One of the riders was a doctor and noticed a passenger who had stopped breathing. He slumped to the floor, woke up and passed out again. They shook him awake, yelling.”Did you take heroin?” Turns out the doctor has noticed he was only breathing six times per minute!! “Did you drink something?” How much?” I was afraid they would haul me off the train, too, if I threw up so I stopped reading. Any one else had this experience? (the KIndle, not the overdose) I can’t read in a car or bus, but I’ve never had a problem on a train.

    • I have this image of a doctor smacking you across the face shouting “Did you take heroin?” while you try to explain you were just reading some chick lit.

      But more importantly – you posted a comment! A Luddite no more!

  2. We went to see “Rango” yesterday. It’s pristinely animated (sand dribbling down dunes!), has fantastic voice acting (Depp, Beatty, the ubiquitous Bill Nighy who I love anyway and Timothy Olyphant!), and ridiculously referential to all Westerns for the past 50 years. Oh, and an extended scene that takes place on flying bats attacking our heroes that will be good fodder for your barf-o-meter. (That sly Roger Deakins at work again.)


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