no chicks in flicksmakesmesick

The hardest part about reviewing movies on a regular basis is actually seeing the films. This is particularly difficult as the summer blockbuster season explodes – movies are opening every weekend, and all I want to do is hang around the patio of Mexican restaurants with a margarita in my hand. Someone should come up with a way to watch movies outside; maybe a speaker could hang off the window … nah, that’s not going to work. How would you prevent people from hiding in the trunk as cars drive in? Continue reading

Men in Black 3

According to the movies, there are many ways to travel through time. The first that comes to mind is your standard DeLorean ride with a variety of fuels such as plutonium or garbage. You can fly backwards and reverse the rotation of the planet, swish around in a hot tub with a topless Megan Draper or try to find an actual phone booth occupied by either Keanu Reeves or Dr. Who. If the film has some configuration of H.G. Wells in it, he’ll build his own time machine, but if you’re kind of lazy and can’t be bothered to explain how it’s done, just sit on a curb in Paris around midnight and you’ll end up hanging out with Gertrude Stein. I wish Ernest Hemingway had punched Woody Allen when he got back to 1920. Continue reading